Mentorship on Relationship: the discussions
And so it was that the first 'mentoring class' was held. The topic was Relationship. We looked at the three kinds of relationship(friendship)that one can have and one should note.
1. Confidants: those who are sold out to you. The are not moved by your mistakes, they stick with you all the way.
2. Constituents:those who are sold out to your ideas/achievements only. As long as those ideas and achievements remain, they remain, but they are not sold out to you. When you make a mistake or error of judgment they take to their heels.
3. Comrades: those who fight your fight. As long as there is a fight to pick, they are with you, But once there no fight, you become boring and they leave.
Two of the facilitators, Sola and Niran assisted in bringing both the spiritual and physical depth to the class. In particular I liked the covenant relationship between David and Jonathan(confidants); Moses and Aaron(constituent); Paul and Demas/ Moses and the children of Israel).
I particularly like the fact that, the category can also change: for example you can have someone who start out as a comrade, but eventually turn out to be a confidant. You can also have some who started as a confidant turning out to be a comrade.
Posers:Do you have anyone you can die for? The general consensus is No. This showed that we are still struggling with confidence in those we hold out as friends. We should be able to die for someone, or at least die to flesh, and hold people as friends and say in our hearts that we are completely sold out to this person.
Furthermore, there was a general belief that we may say we can die for our children, but not our wives...but upon reflection, it was concluded that this is just an emotional affection, but as 'business persons' thinking as such, our first love should really be our wives, as they can always produce more children in the context...lol...This simply shows that we love our wives, not that its only in business terms that we desire them. If the chips are down, and the die is cast, surely it would have to be you and your spouse till the end. The kids will leave one day. The relationship in the bedroom(home) must be what would take you to the showroom(the office)
We found that betrayal is not limited to someone telling of us...it includes reacting negatively to things that we share with them, even though they have not told anybody. That is deep.
We concluded that our wives cannot betray us really, if they are one with us, as you cannot wage war against yourself...however, it was generally accepted that it becomes a betrayal if the spouse goes out and attack the partner, and or reveal a secret or have an immoral relationship. We now want to learn how to say sorry and 'beg' our spouses.(we are continuing next week Saturday with marital relationship)
Funny that people may not want to share somethings with their Pastor because they feel he/she may judge them or share their secrets to his/her spouse or in preaching! It was pointed out that that same fear should really encourage us to share with the pastor, because a relationship of equals may not be as effective, because most of the time we feel better to share with our buddies, because we know they wont castigate us, or they ae comforts hearers only. Whereas, we need someone who is higher both in personal abilities and spiritual abilities, as there are some failings that only God can resolve.We need the rebuke as well as the encouragement and then the prayer support. It was concluded that, really, failings should be reducing rather than constant or increasing. Its a failing if you become habitual mentee who never change. It should start with corrections unto encouragement unto inspiration and then friendship.
Secrets: Things that you may not want others to hear. But it was agreed that once you have shared it with someone, it becomes potential information for the public. This includes the person you got involved with, if the secret is an association with another party. The Pastor must not be fettered in sharing or preaching about it to help others, and not to judge, condemn and expose you. There are three cadres of secrets.
1. The one you share with your spouse. All secrets are share-able, and we are encouraged to do same.
2. The ones that are determined by your position. You find that you will not be doing your spouse a good deal if you share secrets that come to your knowledge by virtue of your position both in the world and in the church. If you begin to work for the M15...
3. Secrets that you weigh on a scale of...has this been dealt with and resolved by God? You may need to get healing and resolution,first, then, you can proceed to ask if the secret can be shared...if the revealer of secret says No, that is the end.
The next meeting is the 10th of July. RSVPLENTY.By invitation only
Topic: 10 things I want improved in my marital relationship, and 10 things my spouse would want me to improve.
See you...
1. Confidants: those who are sold out to you. The are not moved by your mistakes, they stick with you all the way.
2. Constituents:those who are sold out to your ideas/achievements only. As long as those ideas and achievements remain, they remain, but they are not sold out to you. When you make a mistake or error of judgment they take to their heels.
3. Comrades: those who fight your fight. As long as there is a fight to pick, they are with you, But once there no fight, you become boring and they leave.
Two of the facilitators, Sola and Niran assisted in bringing both the spiritual and physical depth to the class. In particular I liked the covenant relationship between David and Jonathan(confidants); Moses and Aaron(constituent); Paul and Demas/ Moses and the children of Israel).
I particularly like the fact that, the category can also change: for example you can have someone who start out as a comrade, but eventually turn out to be a confidant. You can also have some who started as a confidant turning out to be a comrade.
Posers:Do you have anyone you can die for? The general consensus is No. This showed that we are still struggling with confidence in those we hold out as friends. We should be able to die for someone, or at least die to flesh, and hold people as friends and say in our hearts that we are completely sold out to this person.
Furthermore, there was a general belief that we may say we can die for our children, but not our wives...but upon reflection, it was concluded that this is just an emotional affection, but as 'business persons' thinking as such, our first love should really be our wives, as they can always produce more children in the context...lol...This simply shows that we love our wives, not that its only in business terms that we desire them. If the chips are down, and the die is cast, surely it would have to be you and your spouse till the end. The kids will leave one day. The relationship in the bedroom(home) must be what would take you to the showroom(the office)
We found that betrayal is not limited to someone telling of us...it includes reacting negatively to things that we share with them, even though they have not told anybody. That is deep.
We concluded that our wives cannot betray us really, if they are one with us, as you cannot wage war against yourself...however, it was generally accepted that it becomes a betrayal if the spouse goes out and attack the partner, and or reveal a secret or have an immoral relationship. We now want to learn how to say sorry and 'beg' our spouses.(we are continuing next week Saturday with marital relationship)
Funny that people may not want to share somethings with their Pastor because they feel he/she may judge them or share their secrets to his/her spouse or in preaching! It was pointed out that that same fear should really encourage us to share with the pastor, because a relationship of equals may not be as effective, because most of the time we feel better to share with our buddies, because we know they wont castigate us, or they ae comforts hearers only. Whereas, we need someone who is higher both in personal abilities and spiritual abilities, as there are some failings that only God can resolve.We need the rebuke as well as the encouragement and then the prayer support. It was concluded that, really, failings should be reducing rather than constant or increasing. Its a failing if you become habitual mentee who never change. It should start with corrections unto encouragement unto inspiration and then friendship.
Secrets: Things that you may not want others to hear. But it was agreed that once you have shared it with someone, it becomes potential information for the public. This includes the person you got involved with, if the secret is an association with another party. The Pastor must not be fettered in sharing or preaching about it to help others, and not to judge, condemn and expose you. There are three cadres of secrets.
1. The one you share with your spouse. All secrets are share-able, and we are encouraged to do same.
2. The ones that are determined by your position. You find that you will not be doing your spouse a good deal if you share secrets that come to your knowledge by virtue of your position both in the world and in the church. If you begin to work for the M15...
3. Secrets that you weigh on a scale of...has this been dealt with and resolved by God? You may need to get healing and resolution,first, then, you can proceed to ask if the secret can be shared...if the revealer of secret says No, that is the end.
The next meeting is the 10th of July. RSVPLENTY.By invitation only
Topic: 10 things I want improved in my marital relationship, and 10 things my spouse would want me to improve.
See you...
Comments
Post a Comment