MENTORING: IN LOVE WITH THE IN-LAWS

The 4th session started off in earnest. Opened with the speed of anticipation. All may be well on the home front, but the other home is gaining ground on this new home. I need to stave us a third coming on strong in my marriage; how much can I steer clear of theirs so they can stay clear of mine....many of such questions abounded. What I pointed out was simply. All in-laws must be good...or must be your choice. Gen 2: 24...therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife. They shall then be one family...or as one. This is not saying that they should both leave and abandon, but that they should leave and cleave in love and in joy. But it is essential that they create something of their own, not superior to or better than, but a new family that needs to be nourished and catered for to the exclusion of all bad influences. I say that the time to draw boundaries is before marriage rather than in marriage. Boundary that has not been drawn in courtship may pose a bit of problems in marriage. When we marry we marry the family in love or laws. Better begin to appreciate that now and determine how you will bear with it. You are not going to leave your spouse because you don't like your in-laws...however, you can stay on top of things if the two of you really love each other, a love that should be more superior than any other relationship.
What can we do then:
1. Have secured boundaries before marriage...
2. In marriage respect the boundaries
3. Have a filter, if possible. Folks go through the man or woman if necessary, and when all junk are filtered out
4. Dont be on the phone or bbm to parent at every 'cough and cold' When the cold goes down, the effect takes time to clear
5. Love the in-laws as yourself
6. Think that you also one day will be an in-law...

Next session is dealing with THINKING BIG...how do you think big when all things seem small...

Comments

  1. olujoe76 September 2010 at 13:31

    This was a very good session, and I gained a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. jadesola11 September 2010 at 07:58

    Yep, it was indeed. Hmm, secure boundaries before marriage as prevention is always better than cure. This is one lesson I hope to take seriously.

    ReplyDelete

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